Four years!!! Four years since Nathan and I walked into the hospital, completely unprepared for what was to come. Four years since Hezzy boy made his quick (his birth was the quickest out of the three!) appearance—fearfully and wonderfully made. Reading back through his past birthday posts (first birthday, second birthday, and third), I realized just what a gift it is to watch a child grow up. As I read and reminded myself about who he was as a one year old, he went through A LOT of changes (learning to walk, learning to talk, potty training, etc.) but he is still the same sweet sweet Hezzy boy.

He is still our shy little boy. It takes him a while to warm up, but oh boy, when he does he LOVES to be silly. He will make you crawl on the ground with him while playing with his cars or trucks forever. He loves to play, and loves to play with his dada even more. He has got the silliest grin, but you really do have to work for it.

He likes to observe before be partakes. He usually is pretty scared to try something the first time, but once he watches other kids try it, he may do it the next day.

Right now, he absolutely LOVES Reya. Last night he prayed and thanked God for his “little fluffy Reya”. He is such a good big brother and always wants to make sure she is happy and safe. His love for Naomi seems to fluctuate a little bit more, today he didn’t want to play with her because her morning breath was a little too stinky. However, when they are both in the mood they play together so well.

He still enjoys preschool, and consistently says it is his favorite part of his day—even when he didn’t go that day. He likes to learn, and loves doing a little bit of school with me too. He has mastered the letter “H”, and is learning more and more each day.

He still absolutely loves movies and will sit through a whole one without moving. He has his favorite spot on our couch, and his favorite blanket. He watches Nathan to figure out what the funny parts of the movie are, and then will make sure you don’t miss them the next time we watch it.

With Hezzy being our first kid, I am filled with a lot of guilt about feeling like he is almost our “test child”. We have never parented a four year old, and we are constantly learning what works and what doesn’t. He will always be the kid that hits milestones first, and I wish I could give him more. I wish I knew that when he was a newborn, it was okay to cuddle him to sleep. I wish I knew as he grew that it’s okay if he watches a TV show. I wish I knew as he entered toddlerhood that kids are allowed to feel overwhelmed too, and that they are still learning how to process emotions (even if that looks like yelling). It scares me and humbles me to think about what else I don’t know. I have no idea what it looks to parent a four year old, let a lone a teenager. However, I must remind myself that God knows what he is doing. He gives us grace each morning, it is unending. There are hard, hard days, there will continue to be hard days—but God is faithful.

Hezekiah Blake, I pray that you would know just how loved you are. Your mom and dad love you so incredibly much. You are created by God and I pray you would believe that. I pray your nurturing spirit would continue to grow, and that you would be a kind child who looks out for those who are weaker than you. I pray you would fall in love with the God who made you, that you would see that life with him is better than anything this world can offer. I pray that God would continue to give your mama and your dada grace for the times we lose our patience and are quick to anger. I can’t believe that next year you will turn FIVE. That seems so old, and I know it will go quick. Each day with you is a gift, and for now I will soak in the sound of your belly laugh, the feel of your soft soft skin, your big round blue eyes, and your chubby cheeks that bring me right back to your baby days.

Here are some of Hezzy’s favorites:

MOVIE: Currently, The Mitchells vs. The Machines (we’ve watched it like 5X the last week). But Cars, Toy Story and Planes continue to be some of his favorites.

FOOD: Cookies, donuts, cupcakes, ice cream and the occasional piece of chicken.

DRINK: He is a huge water drinker, but loves it when he gets a special drink like soda or lemonade

PEOPLE: He loves his baby sister. Like SO much. He also obviously loves his mimis and bampas. He loves his preschool teacher and when “Miss Ruth” is in his sunday school classroom.

BOOK: Any book that someone will read to him😂

TOY: He loves his transformer robots, and he got a cute little microwave toy he loves too. He can play and play and play, and it’s fun to watch him develop little stories in his head.

HOBBY: Playing at a park, running fast, hikes, making fires (nathan making fires), taking baths, playing with Nathan and rubbing Reya’s “little fluffy head”.